Faith Brings Joy

Scripture: Romans 5:1-5
      1Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Sermon by Dr. Evelyn McKnight
THANK YOU for inviting me to speak today. Cancer touches so many people that I am honored to be the one invited to speak.

My CANCER JOURNEY started 19 years ago with breast cancer. There was a second occurrence one year later and then a diagnosis of Hepatitis C because the oncology nurse reused syringes during chemotherapy, egregious medical error. Then last year I was diagnosed with sarcoma of my right brachial plexus, which necessitated amputation of my right arm. The sarcoma was caused by excess radiation treatment of the breast cancer. Medical treatment is the reason I am still alive and I am grateful for my life. I am GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE. I have seen my sons grow up and marry and father their own children. And now I'm eager to start retirement with my dear husband of 40 years. But medical error has also been a defining part of my journey.

Disclaimer: I have NEVER GIVEN A HOMILY BEFORE. But I’ve preached about medical error and patient safety to thousands of healthcare workers for the past 12 years so please forgive me if I slip into a rant about patient safety. Better yet, more than forgive me, please stop me and orient me back to my reflections on struggle and hope. Writing this homily has been very healing for me, and I want to have the full experience of preaching it.

We all have struggles. As the Buddhists say LIFE IS SUFFERING. You may not have cancer but whatever your trial, this is a day to honor it and see what it has to say to you.

I have a feeling that Paul never got the news that he had cancer, because I don’t think any cancer patient REJOICES AT THE START of their struggle. in my own experience, I have seen so much good come from my cancer and hepatitis C tribulations that now, from this perspective, I am grateful for the struggles.

Rather than rejoice, at first we have to grieve what we have lost. We have to send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears as my Catholic tradition describes. But it is the grief, the heaviness of the sorrow that breaks us open and allows in unmerited grace that transforms us into a better version of ourselves.

Our culture barely tolerates grief. What the culture says that life should be FUN, FAST AND EASY. Grief is not fun, fast or easy. So we may resist grieving and deny that we have lost something very important. Sometimes we confuse hope or encouragement with denial. Denial is not reality based whereas hope is based in reality,

I have watched a lot of YOUTUBE VIDEOS about limb loss and amputation. One channel that I came across was on cooking with one arm. In the opening lines of the video, the cook said, “I can do anything with one arm that I could with two arms.”

That is not true. It simply is not realistic.

The REALISTIC AND HOPEFUL STATEMENT is “I can do many things with one arm that I could with two. When I find something I can’t do I will either find a substitute activity or I will find someone to help me or I will decide i can do without.” One thing I gave up was playing the accordion. I shed a tear when I gave away my accordion although I think everyone else discretely rejoiced. But my niece took the accordion, and as a senior in college, she is teaching herself to play in her college apartment. So there is hope.

We may feel very alone and our grief. And even when we are surrounded by an outpouring of love from friends and family, we are still the one who is struggling with grief. But WE ARE NOT ALONE. We have a divine companion. My 99 year old mother died recently. Her name was Sophia, which is the Greek word for wisdom. One day I was stir-frying vegetables, chasing the skillet as it slid around the electric stovetop and feeling very frustrated. I felt her voice saying to me, “You can fill your head with thoughts of “I miss my arm so much,” and “This is so hard,” and “Life will never be the same.” Or you can be in the moment, and fill your head with thoughts of “The colors of the veggies are so pretty,” or “This smells delicious,” or “I can’t wait to taste this.” “You make the choice.’” Now my mother was very wise but I don’t think this guidance came solely from her. I think she was a channel for the Holy Spirit. As Paul said, “The love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Hearing voices is not a common occurrence for me I don't want you think it is. And I have not heard her voice since that time. I think what allowed me to hear the Holy Spirit was the experience of being in grief. The vulnerability that comes through grief opened me up to the grace of wisdom.

Social scientist Brené Brown has STUDIED HOPE in controlled studies. She has confirmed what Paul said about hope in our reading. He said,"Tribulation brings about perseverance; 4and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope.”  Dr. Brown found that those who have the greatest hope have had the most struggle in their lives. They have developed a sense of agency--they know that they have done hard things in the past and believe they can do hard things going forward. This is the same for all of us--we are up to the challenge.

So, whatever your tribulation, I urge you to take some time to TAKE IT ALL IN. Recall the grief, remember the comfort and wisdom of others, and acknowledge the growth that you have made because of it. Sit with all of it for a while and see where it leads you. I believe that exercise will bring you hope. And hope does not disappoint.