Pride Reflection: Melanie Peltz

Reflection for Pride 2020

By Melanie Peltz

What does PRIDE mean to me - especially without a parade?

Good morning! My name is Melanie Peltz, and I am … a … lesbian. (deep breath) Even after nearly 10 years of marriage to my brilliant wife and with a supportive church like Urban Abbey to call my home - it is still awkward for me every single time I come out.

So, for me, pride without a parade this year is about magnifying and appreciating the frequent, unplanned, redemptive experiences that come from leaning in and telling my (our) stories. Pride without a parade reminds me to enjoy the daily celebrations. But in June 2020, that’s harder than it sounds. We have a lot of priorities - moving boundaries, unprecedented restrictions that prevent us from leaning in daily - telling stories daily, being an ally or advocate - stepping out of fragility or hiding and into pride and marching with others … not easy. And how do we find those ‘others’ with whom you can march? It requires sitting with the discomfort and challenge that comes with coming out and telling story. 

All of that has new levels of meaning in June 2020. 

Pride for me has come slowly, progressively, in fits and starts. I’ve experienced amazing joy and incredible heartache. That’s the stuff of life, to be sure, and it is not unique to me or to the LGBT community. 

Especially in June 2020.

Pride without a parade is about infusing the celebration - particularly right now - into the mundane. Adding glitter to the grind and rainbows to the regular - and showing up to tell my story over and over again. Because facing my fears becomes much more interesting when I can support other queer folks and gather a network of straight allies.

As a middle school teacher, preacher’s kid, leader and member of various community organizations, my pride has taken a beating. But it has also surprised me.  One year ago, my student leaders approached me with that dreaded (in my mind) question. “Ms. Peltz, are you married?” Well, thanks to the supreme court ruling in 2015, I can absolutely say YES! But then the follow up questions came. “What does your husband do?” “Why haven’t we met him?” “Ms. Peltz, are you married to a MAN?”

Finally, I came out. And, when I did, they cheered and hugged me. One wrote a letter that has encouraged me through some tough moments this year. She said:

“Dear Ms. Peltz, Thank you for being such a good role model. I honestly hope I get to live a life like yours one day. You’ve traveled so much, and you get to do it with the love of your life which is so baller. I look up to you more than you could ever know, and I hope you’re as proud of me as I want you to be. Especially, being part of the LGBTQ+ community, I look up to you so much…”

Becoming a role model, empowering other role models, voices of love and acceptance… Those are the rainbows and glitter of everyday pride.

Pride without a parade is celebrating when I came out to a co-worker last year when she nearly knocked me over with hugs and squeals of joy because she then knew she had an ally for her family and her daughter. 

Pride without a parade is picking the perfect playlist for my spinning class so we can have a sliver of that group glitter.

Pride without a parade is remembering everyday that love is of God and EVERYONE who loves is born of God.

Pride without a parade means there’s no deadline. No due date for coming out. Pride without a parade means it is never too late to show your support, your love, or your pride.

May it be so. Amen.