Preached at Urban Abbey on December 24, 2018
Have you ever thought about the fact that there is no grandma at the manger scene? When I became a grandmother this year, this became an important mystery because I realized if there was a Christmas pageant, I no longer had a part.
The best explanation may be that grandparents are intended to have supporting roles. Before we become grandparents, one of our most important parenting challenges is to release our child or children toward independence – making their own decisions, experiencing their own consequences, choosing their place in this world and the people with whom they surround themselves.
It’s a lot more difficult than it sounds; it’s a challenge because we spend years investing ourselves into a growing human, and it’s hard to let go. That’s because sometimes we’re confident in a child’s ability to fly; other times we’re genuinely frightened. Sometimes that changes from day to day!
One of the true gifts of being a grandparent (in my case, being Bubby) is watching that beautiful cycle of childhood begin again. I love watching my child and her husband invest themselves into this little life and being available when they need me. That means understanding and respecting my supporting role and believing that my daughter, who I will always consider “my baby” is completely and wonderfully capable of all the joys and responsibilities of parenting another.
The birth of my grandson, Hugh, has unsurfaced all sorts of memories; some wonderful, and some that taught great lessons. Perhaps my greatest realization as a parent was the value of time. By that, I mean the importance of showing up and being present in my child’s life.
One thing I’ve learned and believe with all my heart: the things that scream the loudest in this world are not the most important; and nothing says LOVE more than showing up to hear and see and be part of the small things in another person’s life.
The birth of my grandson, Hugh, has unsurfaced all sorts of memories; some wonderful, and some that taught great lessons. Perhaps my greatest realization as a parent was the value of time. By that, I mean the importance of showing up and being present in my child’s life.
One thing I’ve learned and believe with all my heart: the things that scream the loudest in this world are not the most important; and nothing says LOVE more than showing up to hear and see and be part of the small things in another person’s life.
The things that scream the loudest in this world are not the most important. In the Christmas story, it’s easy to focus our attention in multiple directions – singing angels, wise men, shepherds and their sheep, lots of animals surrounding the manger. But when we quiet those things, what’s left is two young people with a new baby feeling just a bit of pressure because that baby was born to be a Savior!
My daughter grew up during the 1990’s when cell phones began to take prominence in our society. But we had an agreement at dinner time that we set all things that made noise aside (cells, land lines, TV) and ate dinner together. It was mostly small conversation, but we both learned a lot about each other. In giving that gift of time to one another, when the big things did arise, we knew how to communicate. We knew how to love. We knew how to recognize the good in each other, even in the middle of difficulty.
How do you measure a year in the life? That’s a line from one of my favorite songs in the musical, RENT. The answer is love. Seasons of love. The small things that lay the foundation for the big things. Time is never, ever wasted when we spend it on those we love. Merry Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment